is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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