We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
