I wish I could teleport
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Let's get the cat blown out
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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