when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This is classic penis vs brain.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
