omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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