just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
