What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
two words: eviction party
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
