the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Be still, my beating vagina.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
