So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
