At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
