and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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