Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
