you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
