don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
