i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
