Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
