I'm going to rape someone's good day.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
