Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
