sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
