Sponge bath it is.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
