Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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