She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
