we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
