he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
