Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
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