I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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