no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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