I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize