We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize