I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize