I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
