I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
