I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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