ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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