At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
