were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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