I heard we made out
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
