Everything about him screamed your future.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
