Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
