i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
