We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
