Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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