I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The power of my boobs compel you
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
