She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
