I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize