I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
