bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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