just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
