All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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