dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
