Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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