we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
