those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
