Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
