I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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