Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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