Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
even my farts smell like vagina
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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