yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
