I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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