In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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