So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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