I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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