trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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